I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
