Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Enjoy the penises
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize