Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
