There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
