TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
