Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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