bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
