i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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