I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
