You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
