you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize