Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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