This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's always time for handjobs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
