is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
