erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
