spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
