my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
