And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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