Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
