I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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