I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
