honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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