I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
