I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
