If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
