Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
