my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
