Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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