that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
