Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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