I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
