Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
