I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
