No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
