ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
