His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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