if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
