I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
