Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
