You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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