It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
