just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
