I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
