The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
its liver damage thursday
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