eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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