Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
