Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
