do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
