dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
