sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
