do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
