Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
