and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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