Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
