either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
