There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
