Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
