I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
