You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
